While I had been doing much better the past 2 months with my sleeping and eating schedule June has been particularly bad. It is still not bad as it has been before but it seems to be getting worse. I mostly blame stress as the big factor in this as I had/have a lot of that, too.

So far I have had to cancel two appointments with the hospital to finish up diagnosis because all they want is a paper from another psychiatrist Of course they had a waiting list too so that means I had been set back for 2 months. :( They don’t want to see me at the hospital anymore until they have gotten their copy of that paper because in their own words they are “done with their diagnosis”. They only want that paper because in their (monthly) meetings with the gender team questions from the others (surgeons, endocrinologist, etc..) are sure to arise about the numerous things that are on my medical profile.

So last week, 1 day after I had to cancel another appointment at the hospital, I finally got to see that psychiatrist (and a psychologist too) who is for one known at the gender team and for two his opinions is apparently being held in high regard all over. He’s some kind of psycho-celebrity.. wait, that doesn’t sound right. Anyway, this is the guy that can actually overrule all previous diagnoses so I can literally have a ‘clean slate’ again.

That talk went really well and they already concluded I don’t have any psychological problems that would hinder my advancement in the program, nor have any eating disorders like bulimia or anorexia. They do, however, want to see me one more time to try and figure out how some of the past psychiatrists et al I’ve seen came to their sometimes bizarre conclusions.

They wanted to do this 2 weeks later, which would have been on the 1st of July which is also the date when the hospital has their monthly meetings. That would mean I’d have to wait yet another month and after having canceled so many already I don’t even have one set for August. The waiting list is excruciatingly long which is why I always had appointments set 3-4 months in advance. They even told me its better to cancel than not having an appointment at all.

So I managed to have them change it to only 1 week later, which is tomorrow, and yes, I’m freaking out! I have to be there relatively early (11:45am) which with my schedule being messed up and needing to take a bus, a train, and another bus requires me to be awake very early and pray there are no traffic accidents!

After this the reports will go to the hospital and my other psycho-therapist and they can finally bring me up in their damn meeting. I am not scared about the actual diagnosis part as everyone I have seen already told me I have a 99.99% chance to be greenlighted.

When that is done I should hear from them soon about taking a blood sample and checking in with the endocrinologist. AND the official diagnosis papers will go to my GP and health insurance company. That means I can finally do some of the things I wanted to do but could not pay for! God knows I want to get lasered so bad!