Posts Tagged ‘surgery’

Vlog #14 – Questions about surgery.

Warning: Don’t watch if you are squeamish about surgeries or genital talks.

I had a bunch of questions to my surgeon about my upcoming surgery. Some call it SRS (sexual reassignment surgery), or GCS (gender corrective surgery), but I just call it surgery.

I ramble on about stuff at first, the questions (and answers) start at 5:24

[5:56] Question 1: What is the approximate vaginal depth I can reach?
[8:38] Question 2: How soon after surgery can I have vaginal intercourse?
[9:18] Question 3: How soon after surgery can I have anal intercourse?
[10:26] Question 4: Dilating. How often, and when can I stop doing it (especially when sexually active)?
[12:00] Question 5: Will I have a sensitive clitoris?
[13:04] Question 6: Labiaplasty. Done together with vaginoplasty?
[13:54] Question 7: Second (cosmetic) operation cover by insurance?
[15:30] Question 8: How identical will it be to a natal women’s vagina?
[20:54] Question 9: What are my chances of complications? What are they?
[23:46] Question 10: Am I too small statures for a deep vagina? Is my pelvic size an issue?
[24:30] Question 11: My BMI is 18. Which is only a little below normal. Is this an issue? My weight has been stable around 41.5kg.
[26:11] Question 12: Which areas would I still need to get lasered before surgery?

Vlog #11 – Three years ago…

Three years ago today I stopped living a lie.
Three years ago today I started becoming who I really am.
Three years ago today I started transitioning from male to female.

It was exciting to finally realize the cause of my misery. For decades I had seen therapists, psychiatrists, doctors; none of them ever even hinted at gender identity disorder. No one saw it, despite the fact it seems so obvious now looking back.

Once the initial excitement wore off it was replaced with fear. “Now what? How the hell am I gonna do this? Just get some female clothes and start going out? It can’t really be that simple, can it?”

“Oh my God how am I going to tell my family? And what will people think? Am I gonna have to live a life of constant public humiliation?” Those were the kind of thoughts that were constantly in my mind.

Despite all these fears it was only two weeks later that I bought female clothes for the first time and told my parents about my plans to transition. And only two weeks after that I went out in public for the first time; to go to my first therapy session.

A week after that everyone knew, both on and offline. And only a week after that, seven weeks after I started transition, I went full time. I was determined to make this happen. There was not a single doubt in my mind that I had to do this in order to survive. To finally be happy with myself.

Then came hell. Months of agony as I was put on the excruciatingly long waiting list at the hospital in order to be able to even start the first part of the entire process: diagnosis. Add in the fact that in the meantime I was also going through a messy divorce and my life was far from the bliss and happiness that I was aiming for.

Fifteen months had passed before I was finally able to start the diagnosis process. For people to tell me what I already knew. That I was born in the wrong body. This entire process took ten months to complete. And it wasn’t for another month until I was able to start hormone replacement therapy. Well over two years from when I first started transition.

I’ve been on hormones for almost ten months now and soon I’ll be put on yet another waiting list which will likely take another year. This time for surgery. Some call it sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), others call it gender confirming surgery (GCS), and there are many other acronyms for the exact same procedure but I just call it surgery. It is the only one I am truly planning on getting.

By the time I’ll be done with the entire process it will have been well over four years. Still I am not one that considers surgery to be the ‘be all end all’ of my transition. In fact, in my opinion I already completed my transition well over a year ago. I have already been living the life of a girl, of my new self, for all this time and surgery will not change how I view myself.

I have a wonderful boyfriend, accepting parents, good friends, life is pretty damn good right now and it only seems to be getting better and better each day. :)

Laser Intake

Today I had an intake appointment with Cosmedilight in Amsterdam. The laser hair removal place of choice of the VUMC hospital’s genderteam. They are far from the cheapest but luckily my insurance will cover it. :) I forgot to ask before I went there if they required me to show up without makeup or not. I kinda suspected not, but I put it on anyway.

When I got there I had to sit for a few minutes in the waiting room before it was time for my appointment. All the staff seemed very busy, walking back ‘n forth and looking for papers and whatnot but it didn’t take very long before I was called and lead into one of the treatment rooms by one of the skin therapists.

She started with giving me some basic information on the procedure, like how the laser heats up the dark hairs and the heat transfers through the entire hair until it reaches the follicle which will ‘boil’, coagulate, and over the course of a few sessions will be completely destroyed and unable to grow new hairs. It all sounds kinda creepy, and she said it would hurt, too. Like rubber bands being snapped on your face. Fun.

After more information that I already knew she had to do what I already suspected. Which is take off my makeup to get a good look at my skin and hair. She noticed that I don’t have many areas that need treatment as I have little to no hair growth on certain areas on my face. Which is good, it’ll take less time to get rid of it all, I suppose.

Since I told them I wanted to get both my face and my genital area done, the latter being a required procedure for gender reassignment surgery, she also had to take a look ‘downstairs’. I have to admit, I’m surprised I didn’t make a smartass remark when she said “this looks perfect”. Of course what she meant was that with my pale skin and dark hair I am a perfect candidate for laser treatment. ;)

The dermatologist came in, too, to take a quick look at my face and to get the paper I got from my insurance. They want to have an idea of how many sessions this is going to take. I was told in general it takes about 6 sessions; each session about 6-8 weeks apart. So it’s going to take a few months but I’m glad to finally be able to get this done. Of all the things that make me self conscious this is number one. There is only so much you can do with makeup, especially with dark hair and a skin complexion like mine.

The billing thing is kinda weird. The bill for the genital area (150 Euro per session) goes straight to the VUMC, who then takes care of it with my insurance. The bill for the facial area (280 Euro per session) I have to pay for right after each session, at which point I’ll get the receipt which I can then turn in to my insurance to get it back again. So I’m going to have to make sure I have those 280 Euros each time I have a session.

I was also prescribed a cream that I have to pick up at the pharmacist. This cream I will have to apply at least one hour before each session as it will make the treatment less painful in that area. And no, I’m not talking about my face. I am supposed to apply a thick (emphasized by them) layer of cream on the genital area and then wrap it all in saran wrap. Yes, the thin, transparent, sticky plastic you cover food with if you want to store it for later. I know there are people out there with that fetish but as many as I have I don’t think that’s one of mine.

My first session is in two weeks and they will be doing both areas each session. This will reduce the entire treatment time in half so I have no problem with that. I just want it gone. It is also important to get the genital area done sooner rather than later as the longer you are on hormones the slower your pubic hair growth will be and it will take more sessions to get rid of it all. Besides, no one wants hair inside their vagina. ;)

Transgender Information Evening

About a week ago there was a Transgender information evening thing over at the VUMC in Amsterdam, the hospital that I am still on the waiting list on. It started a little after 6pm with speeches accompanied by slides. I went there with my mom, dad, and my daughter.

We left early to avoid traffic problems, it starting at such an awkward time, so we ate something there and looked around a bit before heading to the hall we were all supposed to meet. I didn’t expect a lot of people to show up but I was mistaken. There were quite a few people there, both transgender and relatives.

There was coffee and tea for everyone and shortly someone came to usher us into an adjacent room which looked very much like a movie theater. Well, at least we were comfy. :) After a brief introduction the first guy started doing his slide ‘n speech thing. He spoke kinda softly so I don’t think my dad missed the bigger part of it, but the guy really only gave a general overview of the process in its entirety, from diagnosis to hormones to surgery.

The second guy was a lot easier to understand, it was an older man, bearded, that made the occasional joke. His main focus seemed to be around the hormones and how it would affect you. He also talked about the danger in acquiring hormones from the internet, and the poor quality thereof even if it is a valid drug.

When he was done we were told there was someone from TransVisie who wanted to say a few things. She was a transgender herself and I assume talked about how TransVisie is there to help both transgers and their relatives deal with issues or just find other people to talk to, beyond the more official places to go to. I say assume because she was so nervous about talking in front of people it was very hard to hear her and between every sentence there was this very awkward silence. It was a very sad display, she may have needed to practice this first.

Then it was breaktime and Lynda and I took this time to go back to the restaurant and find us something to drink besides tea. We decided on Dr Pepper and bought some chocolate too.

When it was time to go back there was one more person going to talk, which was a surgeon who, naturally, talked about the surgical procedures and everything surrounding that. They mentioned having been to Thailand recently and altering their technique somewhat. It was asked by someone if they also saw Dr. Suporn, one of the most well-known surgeons in this field but they said they haven’t been to his practice yet.

While I already knew most of the topics talked about it was still nice to hear it from the actual official source and it was of course also nice that both my parents now have a better idea and understanding of what to expect