Amorous Eyes

T-Girl Extraordinaire

Surgery – The Decision

I think I’m ready… I think I’m ready to let everyone know that I have decided to forgo genital surgery.

This was not an easy decision to make. I have been doubting it for years. From the start of my transition it was always automatically assumed that that would be my ultimate goal. To have gender reassignment surgery and that then I’d be completely female.

That logic is flawed however. It is making the same assumptions that too many people that are ignorant about this subject tend to make: That your gender is determined by your genital configuration. The smarter ones among us know that that is not true of course. Even chromosomes can vary too much per individual to use them as the determining factor. I believe it’s best not to dwell on those things too much. You are who you are regardless of those factors.

One of the main reasons I did initially plan to go for it was so I could be legally recognized as female. Which is very important to me. At this point in time you still have to undergo forced sterilisation by the means of invasive surgery just to be able to change your gender marker on official documents. As progressive as this country sometimes is, in some ways it is still lagging behind others when it comes to transgender rights.

Thankfully this issue should be resolved relatively soon. A legislative amendment has been presented to the government by involved parties and has already been approved. All I have to do now is wait for it to become official law. Considering the current state of our parliament that may take a while but I have faith that it shall come to pass in the near future.

Many – if not most – trans women choose to undergo surgery. The most obvious reason is that the dysphoria is just too great to stay confronted with their male physical characteristics. Hell, I considered doing it just for the sake of aesthetics and being able to wear a bikini without having to think twice!

Many may also feel that surgery is a vital part of their psychological transition. It helps them feel more complete; whole. For me that is not the case. I understand their choice and of course support them. However, I am not that dysphoric toward my genital configuration. I don’t feel as if it defines my gender identity. I completed my transition a long time ago.

I know I am a woman. I am not agender, bigender, or what-have-you. I am a woman. That is enough for me and it should be enough for everyone else. Yes, I have decided to keep my penis. I’m a chick with a dick and I like it that way. It is simply who I am.

– The T-Girl extraordinaire

Posted on May 24, 2012 Leave a comment

Polyamory vs. Monogamy

Someone just asked me about polyamory. Here’s my (edited) response:

Polyamory can be a tricky thing and I often see people get into it for either the wrong reasons or not fully understanding the impact of it.

Polyamory, in its core, is loving more than a single person at any one time. This requires a lot of trust, respect, and communication from all sides. There’s also an added responsibility toward all partners involved.

I especially see young people (i.e. early 20s) abuse the term to get away with sleeping around. There is no love there. It’s just sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you are open to that, but I’d like it if they’d call it for what it is. Either swinging, an open relationship, or similar. You can do some serious harm to a person by not being completely honest about your intentions.

That said, even if you are polyamorous in nature doesn’t mean you always need to have a secondary relationship in your life. Poly people can live out a happily monogamous life.

I’m all for monogamy. I see too many poly people with an elitists attitude condemn it or call it against human nature. (There’s a twist.) I cannot but disagree with that statement. Monogamy can be really fulfilling and not feel like you are “missing out”.

My boyfriend and I revised the parameters of our relationship a bit since that video I made a year ago. We’re still semi-poly but with clearer ‘rules’ and some restrictions. That, and we doubt that either of us will be able to handle a complete secondary relationship. We don’t even have the time for that so it would be a foolish thing to look for right now.

Again, I’m a huge fan of monogamy and feel that it gets a bad rep in large part due to young people rushing into relationships and even getting married before they hit 25. So yeah, statistics will tell you it doesn’t work. But statistics have to be taken into proper context to be fully understood.

As always, communication is key.

Posted on April 26, 2012 Leave a comment

Set lasers to “ouch”!

Had another laser session today. Sadly not the last time as I had hoped. At least it didn’t hurt as much as the previous session.

On the bright(er) side I will finally be getting my money back. Not from my health insurance but straight from the hospital.

When I was there last week I asked about it yet again and they said I should’ve already gotten the first payment. I showed them that I hadn’t received anything yet (yay for smartphones!) so some phone calls were made.

Apparently it was in fact deposited but on the wrong bank account! The one of the laser clinic no less. They said that they will fix this asap and that after paying for it myself for nearly one and a half years I will finally be getting what I am owed. Huzzah!

Posted on April 17, 2012 Leave a comment

More appointments at the hospital.

Had an appointment with the psychologist / sexologist at the hospital the other day. Which was nice but I also really wanted to see my endo but they canceled my appointment with him for that day like a week before and set a new one all the way in June!

I wasn’t happy about this and tried to move it up. This was not possible so I got an appointment with the assistant instead in a few weeks. Still a ways away but at least it isn’t June!

Posted on April 12, 2012 Leave a comment

2011 was a good year.

It has been a good year. Sure, there were some not so happy times as well but overall 2011 has done me a lot of good. Here’s a few highlights:

The year started with me still being on a dating frenzy which resulted in meeting the guy that would eventually become my boyfriend. In March we officially got together. He’s awesome and I love him so much. <3 He’s strong, caring, understanding, and very sexy! ;) In April I got back in touch with my daughter. I’m very happy to have her back in my life. She also gets along with my boyfriend very well which makes me extra happy. We play games, street chalk and watch Doctor Who together. In August, someone gave me back one of my old cats, heavily pregnant, and we wound up with kittens. Cute, but not really planned. We did eventually decide to keep one of the kittens, sparky, who I think fell into the big bag of catnip when she was very young because she’s extremely active!

Also in August I have been full time for three years and on hormones for a year.

Then in September I got approved for surgery. I saw the surgeon the next month and it seems that my surgery date will be around May 2012. I’m very nervous.

And in December we had wonderful Christmas dinners. Both with friends and with my parents. And the new year’s party we went to was great! So much fun! :)

New year’s even was great too and I had so much fun. My boyfriend and I partied until late into the night and we were so broken the next day!

Of course these are just a few of the things that happened to me last year. There were numerous other notable events, like my hair catching on fire! :p

Now I’m off to make 2012 even better! :)

Posted on January 4, 2012 Leave a comment
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