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	<title>Amorous Eyes &#187; Videos</title>
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	<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com</link>
	<description>The living memoirs of a young Dutch transsexual girl going through transition.</description>
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	<language>en</language>
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			<item>
		<title>Vlog #14 &#8211; Questions about surgery.</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/12/10/vlog-14-questions-about-surgery/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/12/10/vlog-14-questions-about-surgery/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Dec 2011 13:32:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[My Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hospital]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[labiaplasty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[surgery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vaginoplasty]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1499</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Warning: Don&#8217;t watch if you are squeamish about surgeries or genital talks. I had a bunch of questions to my surgeon about my upcoming surgery. Some call it SRS (sexual reassignment surgery), or GCS (gender corrective surgery), but I just call it surgery. I ramble on about stuff at first, the questions (and answers) start [...]]]></description>
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<p><strong>Warning:</strong> Don&#8217;t watch if you are squeamish about surgeries or genital talks.</p>
<p>I had a bunch of questions to my surgeon about my upcoming surgery. Some call it SRS (sexual reassignment surgery), or GCS (gender corrective surgery), but I just call it surgery.</p>
<p>I ramble on about stuff at first, the questions (and answers) start at 5:24</p>
<p>[5:56] Question 1: What is the approximate vaginal depth I can reach?<br />
[8:38] Question 2: How soon after surgery can I have vaginal intercourse?<br />
[9:18] Question 3: How soon after surgery can I have anal intercourse?<br />
[10:26] Question 4: Dilating. How often, and when can I stop doing it (especially when sexually active)?<br />
[12:00] Question 5: Will I have a sensitive clitoris?<br />
[13:04] Question 6: Labiaplasty. Done together with vaginoplasty?<br />
[13:54] Question 7: Second (cosmetic) operation cover by insurance?<br />
[15:30] Question 8: How identical will it be to a natal women&#8217;s vagina?<br />
[20:54] Question 9: What are my chances of complications? What are they?<br />
[23:46] Question 10: Am I too small statures for a deep vagina? Is my pelvic size an issue?<br />
[24:30] Question 11: My BMI is 18. Which is only a little below normal. Is this an issue? My weight has been stable around 41.5kg.<br />
[26:11] Question 12: Which areas would I still need to get lasered before surgery?</p>
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		<title>Vlog #13 &#8211; Transgender Day of Remembrance</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/11/20/vlog-13-transgender-day-of-remembrance/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/11/20/vlog-13-transgender-day-of-remembrance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Nov 2011 22:19:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amsterdam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hate crimes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TDoR]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[transgender]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1492</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yesterday was the Transgender Day of Remembrance in Amsterdam. The official day is today but it was held yesterday in order to get noticed as much as possible. Which is still needed. A big part of this day is remembering the dead but it’s also to make the people more aware of us and especially [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe width="640" height="510" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Y17euRYcPPg" style="margin: 0 auto 0 auto;display:block;" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>Yesterday was the <a href="www.transgenderdor.org/?page_id=4">Transgender Day of Remembrance</a> in Amsterdam. The official day is today but it was held yesterday in order to get noticed as much as possible. Which is still needed. A big part of this day is remembering the dead but it’s also to make the people more aware of us and especially the lack of rights we have all over the world.</p>
<p>People were to meet at the COC in Amsterdam at 3pm and at 4pm we were to leave to a memorial monument. Everyone who wanted to could grab a white helium-filled balloon that had a string with a tag attached. On those tags were the names of the transgender people that were murdered in the past year, their place of birth, their age, and their cause of death&#8230; If known, as not always all data was properly reported.</p>
<p>The deaths were often brutal. The ‘mildest’ ones were where people were shot in the head, but others died from multiple stab wounds, being burned alive, dismembered, decapitated, ran over and smashed with a block of concrete. It’s pretty horrific to realize that every other day this still happens somewhere in the world, and those are only the ones we know of. It’s a frightening thought. While I realize I live in one of the safer parts of the world <em>(there are no reported trans hate crimes in The Netherlands since 2007)</em> it is still a thought that lingers in the back of my head.</p>
<p>Once everyone had arrived at the monument there were several speeches held by people invested in the trans community. There was someone from the city council, the leader from the trans rights movement in the Philippines, and more but I cannot really remember who they all were right now but their words affected me greatly. A point was made to tell everyone to please become more visible to make people know we exist and deserve the same rights as any other individual. I cried during most of this which only got worse when the part was reached where everyone would go to the microphone, one by one, recite the information of the victim listed on the tag of their balloon, and let it go into the air. There were a lot of them. Too many. And as was made clear, they weren’t even from <em>all </em>the victims of the past year, that number is even greater.</p>
<p>The sadness was overwhelming but I’m still glad I went. I’m also glad my boyfriend was with me because there is no way I could have gone through all of this on my own. It definitely left an impact.</p>
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		<title>Vlog #12 &#8211; Random Updates II: I&#8217;m On Fire!</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/09/09/vlog-12-random-updates-ii-im-on-fire/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/09/09/vlog-12-random-updates-ii-im-on-fire/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Sep 2011 22:00:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anniversary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cats]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hormones]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1481</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Talking about a whole variety of subjects.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe width="640" height="510" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vLsMwx1AVe0" style="margin: 0 auto 0 auto;display:block;" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>Talking about a whole variety of subjects.</p>
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		<title>Vlog #11 &#8211; Three years ago&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/06/16/vlog-11-three-years-ago/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/06/16/vlog-11-three-years-ago/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jun 2011 21:59:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[My Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diagnosis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hormones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[surgery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[waiting list]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1367</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Three years ago today I stopped living a lie. Three years ago today I started becoming who I really am. Three years ago today I started transitioning from male to female. It was exciting to finally realize the cause of my misery. For decades I had seen therapists, psychiatrists, doctors; none of them ever even [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe width="640" height="510" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zexTrqTQHyE" style="margin: 0 auto 0 auto;display:block;" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>Three years ago today I stopped living a lie.<br />
Three years ago today I started becoming who I really am.<br />
Three years ago today I started transitioning from male to female.</p>
<p>It was exciting to finally realize the cause of my misery. For decades I had seen therapists, psychiatrists, doctors; none of them ever even hinted at gender identity disorder. No one saw it, despite the fact it seems so obvious now looking back.</p>
<p>Once the initial excitement wore off it was replaced with fear. &#8220;Now what? How the hell am I gonna do this? Just get some female clothes and start going out? It can&#8217;t really be that simple, can it?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Oh my God how am I going to tell my family? And what will people think? Am I gonna have to live a life of constant public humiliation?&#8221; Those were the kind of thoughts that were constantly in my mind.</p>
<p>Despite all these fears it was only two weeks later that I bought female clothes for the first time and told my parents about my plans to transition. And only two weeks after that I went out in public for the first time; to go to my first therapy session.</p>
<p>A week after that everyone knew, both on and offline. And only a week after that, seven weeks after I started transition, I went full time. I was determined to make this happen. There was not a single doubt in my mind that I had to do this in order to survive. To finally be happy with myself.</p>
<p>Then came hell. Months of agony as I was put on the excruciatingly long waiting list at the hospital in order to be able to even <em>start </em>the first part of the entire process: diagnosis. Add in the fact that in the meantime I was also going through a messy divorce and my life was far from the bliss and happiness that I was aiming for.</p>
<p>Fifteen months had passed before I was finally able to start the diagnosis process. For people to tell me what I already knew. That I was born in the wrong body. This entire process took ten months to complete. And it wasn&#8217;t for another month until I was able to start hormone replacement therapy. Well over <em>two years </em>from when I first started transition.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been on hormones for almost ten months now and soon I&#8217;ll be put on yet another waiting list which will likely take another year. This time for surgery. Some call it sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), others call it gender confirming surgery (GCS), and there are many other acronyms for the exact same procedure but I just call it surgery. It is the only one I am truly planning on getting.</p>
<p>By the time I&#8217;ll be done with the entire process it will have been well over four years. Still I am not one that considers surgery to be the &#8216;be all end all&#8217; of my transition. In fact, in my opinion I already completed my transition well over a year ago. I have already been living the life of a girl, of my new self, for all this time and surgery will not change how I view myself.</p>
<p>I have a wonderful boyfriend, accepting parents, good friends, life is pretty damn good right now and it only seems to be getting better and better each day. :)</p>
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		<title>Vlog #10 &#8211; Why my mom is awesome.</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/05/08/why-my-mom-is-awesome/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/05/08/why-my-mom-is-awesome/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 May 2011 21:47:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mother's day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1343</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When I told my mom my plans to transition from male to female she was of course very scared. Scared that this would turn out to be a &#8216;phase&#8217;, for one, but also scared that I would be bullied, beaten up, or worse. While I&#8217;m lucky to live in a country that&#8217;s pretty tolerant about [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe width="640" height="510" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/r8oNSBKIISY" style="margin: 0 auto 0 auto;display:block;" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>When I told my mom my plans to transition from male to female she was of course very scared. Scared that this would turn out to be a &#8216;phase&#8217;, for one, but also scared that I would be bullied, beaten up, or worse. While I&#8217;m lucky to live in a country that&#8217;s pretty tolerant about these things it&#8217;s not like it doesn&#8217;t happen at all so I could understand her concerns.</p>
<p>I also could not have done this at a worse time for her. She had only recently lost her other son, my older brother, and now she was to lose the last one she still had. That was not an easy thing for her to come to terms with. </p>
<p>Once the initial shock wore off it slowly started getting better, although she still had a lot of trouble with using the proper pronouns and calling me by my new name. Over time that got a lot better. She now calls me Julie and refers to me as her daughter which makes me very, very happy! :)</p>
<p>Then when I started to date a lot she was also scared a bit. Considering I tend to hook up with guys really fast I can understand her fear of me potentially meeting the wrong guy and it go horrible wrong, or even violent. Hell, the last guy I met up with I had only talked to for a few hours the night before. So I can definitely understand it but it&#8217;s how I choose to do things.</p>
<p>Doing that had the nice bonus of finding my boyfriend though, along with meeting some nice friends along the way. :) Of course I went non-monogamous with my boyfriend after a while which is something my mom didn&#8217;t quite understand at first. If I loved him so much, why would I want to see other people? But that&#8217;s just how I prefer to live my life and while it is nothing she could ever do herself, she doesn&#8217;t judge or condemn me for it.</p>
<p>When someone criticizes me, she defends me. When I need her help, she stands by me. When I need to talk, she is there for me. She has always stood by me even when things were rough, she didn&#8217;t disown me, she never stopped loving me.</p>
<p>Thank you, mom. You&#8217;re the best and I love you. :)</p>
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		<title>Vlog #9 &#8211; I Have A Boyfriend!</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/03/12/vlog-9-i-have-a-boyfriend/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/03/12/vlog-9-i-have-a-boyfriend/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Mar 2011 15:13:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boyfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[monogamy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[openness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[polyamory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[polygamy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1297</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Heavily improvised vlog about my cute boyfriend. I&#8217;m kinda rambling on and on for most of this video. :p Recorded this at his place which partly explains why I&#8217;m a bit out of it. :)]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="510" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/M-c8wqb3xy0" style="margin: 0 auto 0 auto;display:block;" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>Heavily improvised vlog about my cute boyfriend. I&#8217;m kinda rambling on and on for most of this video. :p Recorded this at his place which partly explains why I&#8217;m a bit out of it. :)</p>
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		<title>Vlog #8 &#8211; Random Updates</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/02/11/vlog-8-random-updates/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/02/11/vlog-8-random-updates/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Feb 2011 22:19:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My Transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hormones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laser]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[piercings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tattoos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1266</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Quick and somewhat random updates on all the stuff I&#8217;ve been doing lately and what&#8217;s going with my life.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="640" height="510" style="margin: 0 auto 0 auto;display:block;" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/m_CFQbTM88A" frameborder="0"></iframe><br />
Quick and somewhat random updates on all the stuff I&#8217;ve been doing lately and what&#8217;s going with my life.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Vlog #7 &#8211; Dating and more dating.</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/01/20/vlog-7-dating-and-more-dating/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2011/01/20/vlog-7-dating-and-more-dating/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Jan 2011 21:49:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating sites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1244</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve been dating quite a bit lately (understatement of the year) and decided to cover them all in one go. This will also be pretty much the last time I&#8217;ll talk about my dating experiences. Well, I will mention small things in passing but I will no longer dedicate an entire b/vlog to it unless [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="640" height="510" style="margin: 0 auto 0 auto;display:block;" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/w4M_Kq5IzZw" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been dating quite a bit lately <em>(understatement of the year)</em> and decided to cover them all in one go. This will also be pretty much the <em>last </em>time I&#8217;ll talk about my dating experiences. Well, I will mention small things in passing but I will no longer dedicate an entire b/vlog to it unless something out of the ordinary happens, like a very special first date or something. So, just assume I&#8217;ll still be dating lots even if I don&#8217;t talk about it.</p>
<p>I had my second date with the guy from my previous video in the first weekend of December. Which, incidentally, you can find by searching YouTube for &#8220;<a href="http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=insane+sex&#038;aq=f">insane sex</a>&#8220;. I&#8217;ll be referring to him as &#8220;Teddy&#8221; from now on so you can actually tell &#8216;m all apart. :p Cuz, you know, I&#8217;m dating 5 different guys right now. <em>(Note: The fifth is not mentioned in here.)</em></p>
<p>He surprised me, because the day before while we talked a bit on MSN, he asked what time I wanted him to come over. I said &#8220;As soon as possible!&#8221; which apparently he took quite literally because at 9am the next morning I got a text message saying he was on his way. I was still in bed; <em>sleeping</em>! I didn&#8217;t expect him until like 2 or 3pm so I had to rush and get ready very, very quickly!</p>
<p>He again stayed for the weekend, though only two days this time. We.. did make it count, though. Apart from watching the latest <em>Resident Evil: Afterlife</em>, we didn&#8217;t do much apart from, well, you know, have fun. ;)</p>
<p>When I said it would be tough making a vlog about this one he threw a few suggestions at me. One of them would be to make like a checklist and just go &#8220;did it, did it, did it, about to do it&#8221; and so on. I&#8217;m not sure if going into detail about my sex life would gain or lose me subscribers. Probably both so it might just even out. Still.. as open as I am, there are certain things that will remain private. This isn&#8217;t just <em>my </em>life I&#8217;m talking about here.</p>
<p>The Saturday after that, I had a first date. It was with a guy who I&#8217;ll be calling &#8220;Pretzel&#8221;. His choice, don&#8217;t ask, I don&#8217;t know. He&#8217;s the youngest guy I&#8217;ve ever dated so far as he&#8217;s only 26. Eight years younger than me. He suggested dinner and a movie so it was going to be kind of a classic date. Never had one of those before.</p>
<p>We met up in Amsterdam in the early afternoon. I was hungry so we decided to find a Subway to eat. Afterward we walked past the cinema where we were planning on watch a movie later, so we went in and looked at what would be playing that day.</p>
<p>Other than <em>Tangled</em>, which he had already seen, there wasn&#8217;t really a whole lot of interesting movies playing. He suggested <em>The Social Network</em> but we wound up choosing <em>Unstoppable</em>, the latest action flick starring Denzel Washington. I wanted something that wouldn&#8217;t require me to completely focus on the movie.</p>
<p>We had some time to kill so we went looking for a place to sit &#8216;n stuff. We found a &#8216;quaint&#8217; little cafe, drank some wine, and talked. It was there that we decided to forget about going to the movies and just go to my place instead. Well, I wanted dinner first so we went to McDonald&#8217;s. I hadn&#8217;t had eaten there in a while and I really felt like having some junk food. :p</p>
<p>When we got to my place we put on the movie <em>Doom </em>as background noise. Besides that we spent most of our time in the bedroom. To cut a long story short, he didn&#8217;t leave until the next morning. ;)</p>
<p>Now, just a few days after that I had to go to the hospital for my transition evaluation and talk about how I was doing being on hormones and how it has affected me so far. Earlier that day I talked with Pretzel and arranged to see him that evening. It&#8217;s a good thing I did because I received some very bad news from one of the doctors and had a really hard time dealing with it. And no, I&#8217;m sorry, but I don&#8217;t feel like talking about what I was told just yet but I&#8217;ll probably make it public in a future update.</p>
<p>When I got to Rotterdam to meet up with Pretzel, we went over to Pizza Hut to eat. Which luckily had an &#8220;all you can eat&#8221; buffet that day which we gladly took advantage of. There, I told him what happened and he was really supportive and comforting.</p>
<p>We must&#8217;ve sat at the Pizza Hut for about 2 hours before we finally left. We then found a nice little cafe where we had some drinks and talked about all kinds of subjects. We also set up a date for the following Friday. He was gonna come over again. By the time I left for home it was already quite late, I didn&#8217;t get back home until 1.30am.</p>
<p>Well, the next day I had another first date. With a guy I had only talked to for about 10 minutes on this dating site I&#8217;m on. He just asked me out and I accepted.</p>
<p>We met up in Amsterdam and were gonna go to this Jazz Cafe he knew. Well when we got there it hadn&#8217;t opened yet so we went to the Burger King while we waited for the place to open.</p>
<p>The Jazz Cafe was really nice. It was not very busy at first but that would change dramatically in the next few hours. We got a nice table right near the front of the stage. It didn&#8217;t take long before the musicians came in and started setting up.</p>
<p>It was a jazz band consisting of a trumpet, saxophone, (digital) piano, double bass, and drums. They were really quite awesome. Very skilled, every single one of them capable of doing solos, and there was this great dynamic between them.</p>
<p>We drank for a bit and enjoyed their performance. They were going to do four sets but sadly by the time they finished their first set I had to head back to the train station in order to catch the last train home. Again I got home at 1.30am.</p>
<p>He, who I&#8217;ll call &#8220;Zack&#8221; by the way, is a very intelligent, friendly and interesting person. Not a bad dresser either. Though this was a bit of an unusual date for me. Unusual in the sense that there was no physical contact whatsoever during the entire date. He was very nice throughout the entire evening, but I&#8217;m not sure anything is going to happen there.</p>
<p>Then came Friday. Yes, Pretzel was coming over again. He texted me at just before 8am that he was on his way. Again, I was still asleep at that time, so I had to get up, shower and get ready quickly. Well, apparently I didn&#8217;t have to be <em>that </em>fast as there was such heavy snow that day that public transportation wasn&#8217;t without its delays.</p>
<p>He got here at like 10am, I think. We watched <em>Scott Pilgrim vs. The World </em>which is a truly awesome movie! Very geeky. :D We ordered pizza and other than that we pretty much just did our usual thing. ;) He also stayed the night even though that wasn&#8217;t initially planned.</p>
<p>The Tuesday after that I went over to see Teddy. Yeah, a date on a weekday while he has to work the next day. Crazy, I know. We had a lot of fun though, he even gave me a Christmas present! That was so sweet of him! I wound up spending the night there and left in the early morning.</p>
<p>Well, I decided to head over at my dad&#8217;s as I don&#8217;t see him enough as it is and he lives in a nearby city. I also had a date with Pretzel this same day so this way I didn&#8217;t have to go all the way back home, fix myself up, and then go back out again.</p>
<p>Pretzel and I had a lot of fun as well. He took me to this very sweet restaurant, the food there was awesome. Again I didn&#8217;t get home until the middle of the night.</p>
<p>Then the Monday after that, just after Christmas, Pretzel was gonna come over to my place again for a day or two. Well, that wound up to being three days as he didn&#8217;t leave until Wednesday. He arrived a bit later than planned as the train he was on malfunctioned in the middle of nowhere but that gave me time to clean up the place a bit more.</p>
<p>I &#8216;demanded&#8217; we would watch the <em>Doctor Who Christmas Special </em>as I&#8217;m kind of a Doctor Who addict and I could not wait any longer to see it. We also watched <em>The Chase</em>, an old favorite of mine starring Charlie Sheen. Yes.. I think he&#8217;s cute.</p>
<p>We had a great time as always. :)</p>
<p>Then, merely hours after he left, I got a message from a guy I that contacted me via MySpace the other day. We had only talked for like 10-15 minutes back then. He said he was &#8220;in the neighbourhood&#8221; and wondered if he could drop by.</p>
<p>I swear I am insane because I gave him my address and he was going to head my way. It was 1am at the time, I was exhausted, and I looked like crap. I just figured, &#8220;why not&#8221;, you know?</p>
<p>He stayed until like 2.30am. We just talked. He was a bit unusual, it was hard for me to get a good picture of him and what it is that he wanted from me. He hadn&#8217;t read my site, nor my dating profile as I didn&#8217;t meet him from there, and he didn&#8217;t even realize I was trans until I told him over MSN the first time we talked. We set up a date for the 4th of January. He was going to pick me up and gonna go out someplace nice.</p>
<p>Now, I thought I was going to have a relatively quiet couple of days as we were headed into the new year, but then everything changed. Teddy <em>really </em>wanted to see me so we set something up for the 1st of January and then Pretzel came along and asked me to spend new year&#8217;s eve at his place!</p>
<p>Fun fact: Pretzel and I were asleep and woke up 5 minutes after midnight due to the noise coming from outside, lol. &#8220;Oh hey! It&#8217;s new year!&#8221;</p>
<p>Without going into too much detail this was <em>by far </em>the best time I&#8217;ve spent new year&#8217;s eve and day ever! :p There was some serious fireworks those days alright! And I think I damn near <em>killed </em>Teddy! ;)</p>
<p>Then the 4th came along. I was supposed to have my date with the MySpace guy that day. He sent me a message around 7pm that he was still at work but headed home soon. Our date wasn&#8217;t until 8pm so I figured that was fine.</p>
<p>Well after he didn&#8217;t show up when it was like a quarter to nine I sent him a text asking what the fuck is up. He simply replied stating that he was &#8220;still busy&#8221;. Well thanks for letting me know, asshole!</p>
<p>I was talking to Teddy at the time and I said, &#8220;You know, I can be over at your place in like an hour if I leave right now&#8221;. So that&#8217;s what I did. I quickly grabbed some overnight stuff and just headed out the door.</p>
<p>Meanwhile the MySpace guy would still text me with lame excuses that I simply found too hard to believe. It is a <em>very </em>simple thing to let someone know you&#8217;re running late and give an estimation of just how late you think you&#8217;re gonna be.</p>
<p>At least the day was not lost as I had a great time with Teddy. Teddy is always fun. He also introduced me to <em>Fringe</em>, which apparently can be summed up as a more contemporary <em>X-Files</em>. It&#8217;s very &#8216;fluffy&#8217; but fun to watch.</p>
<p>Then this last weekend I saw Teddy again. Yes, again. This weekend was planned long time in advance. He come over on Friday evening and besides the &#8216;usual activities&#8217; we watched a lot of <em>Family Guy </em>and <em>The Big Bang Theory</em>.</p>
<p>We had something very special planned for Saturday night. We went out at like 10pm to Amsterdam and I was kinda nervous but also very excited. I&#8217;m not going to go into any detail here but suffice to say that I enjoyed myself a lot and it is definitely something we&#8217;ll be doing again. :)</p>
<p>I like going out but as there are no buses that go to my town after like 1am it is not something I can easily do by myself. Trains still keep going though, so as we left there at about 4am we went over to Teddy&#8217;s place instead. It was my original plan to go back home on Sunday but I was so tired that I slept too much so it wasn&#8217;t until Monday morning until I finally went home. It was a long but very fun weekend. :)</p>
<p>Then last Friday I saw Pretzel again. I hadn&#8217;t seen him in a few weeks so that was nice. We hung out, had dinner, and went to the movies. We watched <em>The Green Hornet </em>in IMAX 3D and it was awesome! The screen was huge! The movie had some really amazing special effects and it was a very fun and entertaining movie. :)</p>
<p>While not planned Pretzel did come home with me which meant the next day I had to rush a little bit as I had a date with a new guy. :)</p>
<p>This new guy is 26, has long hair, he&#8217;s gothy <em>(rawr!)</em>, and he&#8217;s OMFG awesome! I&#8217;ll be calling him Dragoon. He also promised to give me a massage which I <em>desperately </em>needed so that was already a big plus.</p>
<p>When I got there he had just finished baking brownies, which were absolutely delicious. We were gonna go to the supermarket to buy stuff for dinner that night but we left kinda late as we got a bit distracted. ;) Once we left he actually carried me down a few flights of stairs, all the way to outside. We passed one of his roommates along the way who was all &#8220;what the hell&#8221;!? &#8211; It was fun.</p>
<p>He also made me quiche! Something I had never had before in my life so it was a new experience but it was good! He&#8217;s a pretty damn good cook as far as I can tell. Though, you know, I helped a little. *cough*</p>
<p>I really like this guy. We have a lot in common. I mean, it&#8217;s not every day I meet someone that turns on some music and actually have it be stuff I listen to myself. At one point even <em>The Cr&uuml;xshadows </em>came along! I was like &#8220;OMG!&#8221; and he was like &#8220;you know them?&#8221; &#8211; &#8220;Know them? This is my fucking ringtone!&#8221; LOL!</p>
<p>The week after that was going to be a self-imposed no dating week but it only took two days before the very idea made me go crazy so I set up new dates for all of the following weekends and this upcoming weekend. In fact, I&#8217;ll be seeing Dragoon again this Friday despite the fact we already had a date set up in February. We&#8217;re gonna watch <em>Dr. Horrible</em>. Yes, I&#8217;ve never seen it before. Yes, I know, I&#8217;m losing geek cred for that.</p>
<p>Some people already assumed I would not be able to go a full week without a date and I guess they were right. I tried! <em>Honest!</em></p>
<p>Anyway, that&#8217;s what I&#8217;ve been up to lately.. and what I will be up to for the foreseeable future. Like I said in the beginning, this will be the very last time I&#8217;ll do a complete b/vlog about dating unless something really special happens. Like, you know, I go exclusive, or I go skydiving for a first date. You know, weird stuff like that. If you&#8217;re still interested to know all the silly stuff and details I don&#8217;t talk about on here just follow me on <a href="http://twitter.com/AmorousEyes">twitter</a>, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/amorouseyes">facebook</a>, or check out the official <a href="http://www.facebook.com/AmorousEyesOfficial">Facebook fan page</a>. Yes, I have a fan page.</p>
<p>I have looots of other things to talk about, I just really needed to get this one done so you all would be up to date again and then I can finally move on and talk about others things again. I have some <em>very </em>interesting things coming up.</p>
<p>Talk to ya later!</p>
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		<title>Vlog #6 – The Insane First Date</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2010/11/27/vlog-6-the-insane-first-date/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2010/11/27/vlog-6-the-insane-first-date/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Nov 2010 02:18:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[first date]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[movies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[So I had a date recently. It was a first date and I&#8217;m pretty sure we broke every rule in the book on that date. I guess this could also be called &#8220;What not to do on a first date.&#8221; but rules are meant to be broken, right? ;) We had been messaging on this [...]]]></description>
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<p>So I had a date recently. It was a first date and I&#8217;m pretty sure we broke every rule in the book on that date. I guess this could also be called &#8220;What not to do on a first date.&#8221; but rules are meant to be broken, right? ;)</p>
<p>We had been messaging on this dating site for a while. Thought we always kept missing each other so basically it was just emailing back &#8216;n forth every other day. One of the first things he asked me was about my religion, which I had listed as &#8220;other&#8221;. This lead into a big discussion on organized religion in general &#8216;n stuff, not exactly a light topic of conversation with someone you just started talking to, but he never disrespected my beliefs so that was good.</p>
<p>We decided to switch topics after a while and wound up talking about movies, TV shows &#8216;n all that. He mentioned he had just seen <em>RED </em>with Bruce Willis, which I am a big fan of. <em>The Fifth Element, Unbreakable, Die Hard,</em> they&#8217;re all great. Though I still have yet to see the last one.</p>
<p>I gave him my MSN address so that maybe we could actually catch each other online at the same time and chat in real time instead. He added me and we started talking about a lot of things. Again, a lot about movies and TV shows. <em>Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek, Sliders.</em> Yes, he&#8217;s a geek, and I <em>love </em>geeks. &lt;3</p>
<p>So then all of a sudden he says, &#8220;We should hold a TV and movie marathon. Spend like a weekend on the couch and watch a show we both like from start to finish.&#8221; I&#8217;m like, &#8220;Sure, sounds like fun.&#8221; and then he asks, &#8220;How about next weekend?&#8221;</p>
<p>Wait, what?! He was serious?! I told him he was mental and that I could very well be a psychotic serial killer. While it did seem like a fun idea it was really quite insane to do this as a first date. I told him that the &#8216;proper&#8217; thing to do would be to at least meet up once or twice before deciding to do something as crazy as that, so I had to think about it. He swore he would be a perfect gentleman, unless I didn&#8217;t want him to be. I had to bite my tongue at that statement. ;)</p>
<p>Well, I didn&#8217;t think for very long because the next day I gave him directions to my place, asked for his cellphone number and a few other things. He gave me his number but requested that I would not call him as he wanted my voice to remain a mystery for now. I&#8217;m not sure if he feared I would sound like Darth Vader or what, but I honored his request.</p>
<p>Flash forward to that Friday. He texted me saying the train was a bit late but he still thought he could make the bus. Turned out he was wrong, though, because shortly after he texted he just missed it so he was gonna arrive half an hour later. He&#8217;d be here at about 9pm.</p>
<p>I left for the bus stop and waited. Bus came shortly after 9pm. I was nervous. So was he. He told me later it was kind of a “What the fuck am I doing?” type of feeling. He also said that when he got off the bus that his first impression of me was &#8220;Holy shit! She&#8217;s so thin!&#8221;</p>
<p>He gave me a rose. A blue rose. He said he wanted to give me a white one but they didn&#8217;t have one anymore. I thought that was so sweet of him. I wanted to kiss him right then and there but I could tell he was still feeling a bit nervous and awkward so I figured it could wait a bit.</p>
<p>When we got to my apartment, which is only like a 5 minute walk, I showed him where to put his stuff. He then sat on the couch and I sat at the heater for a bit. It was cold and raining out so I needed to warm up badly. He told me later he thought I was trying to distance myself from him. That maybe I thought that this was a mistake.</p>
<p>After I warmed up I sat next to him and we started to watch some movies. After some talk we decided on watching <em>Toy Story </em>1, 2, and 3 because I said I really wanted to watch <em>Toy Story 3 </em>and he said he had never seen any of &#8216;m. We ordered pizza and started watching.</p>
<p>I noticed he wasn&#8217;t sure what to do at first. I could tell he wanted to hold me.. wrap his arm around me. I guess he wasn&#8217;t sure what I wanted. So I figured I&#8217;d help him out a bit. I just planted myself really tight next to him and things started to get a lot more physical after that. It didn&#8217;t take long before I was laying on his lap and he would caress my body.</p>
<p>We only lasted for the first two movies. He was, uh, tired and wanted to go to bed. We both proceeded to into the bedroom and he started to undress. I opened my closet, looked at my nighties, and asked &#8220;Hmm.. So what should I wear?&#8221; He then positioned himself directly behind me, put his arms around me and simply said &#8220;Less.&#8221;</p>
<p>The next day.. What? You honestly thought I was going to talk about all the intimate details of my sex life here? It was good, alright? <em>Real </em>good.. and plentiful. ;)</p>
<p>Anyway, the next day we got up kind of late. Well, I wanted to eat breakfast but he refused to leave the bed. Eventually he bribed me by making me give him a massage before he would get up. He had actually brought massage oil with him which we had used that night. It was really nice.</p>
<p>So I finally manage to get him out of bed, we take a shower, have breakfast and watched the first two episodes of <em>The Walking Dead</em>. The new TV show taking place after the Zombie Apocalypse. It&#8217;s pretty good.</p>
<p>The events after this are kind of a blur, really. I know what happened, I&#8217;m just not so sure about the when. So forgive me if some of this is completely wrong. I do know we watched <em>The Emperor&#8217;s New Groove 2: Kronk&#8217;s New Groove </em>because he really wanted to, which was a fun movie, I admit.</p>
<p>Later we ordered more food and watched <em>Toy Story 3</em>. I cried so bad near the end of that movie. He called me a “softy” for doing so. He said that underneath my hard exterior I was just “all soft of mushy inside”. I wasn&#8217;t aware I had a hard exterior, really.</p>
<p>After that we were both pretty tired, we didn&#8217;t sleep a helluva lot the night before. We figured we&#8217;d put on Twilight as background noise. That way we could still kinda say we had &#8216;seen&#8217; it. It was so bad though, that even while half asleep we decided to turn it off. It was just terrible!</p>
<p>Things really become a blur at this point. I know he intended to leave on Sunday in the early afternoon, but that didn&#8217;t happen. Well, to be more precise, I made <em>sure </em>it didn&#8217;t happen. ;)</p>
<p>He had brought fresh ingredients to make us a salmon salad. It was supposed to be breakfast but it became more of a late lunch instead. It was weird, but cute, seeing this guy slave around in my kitchen for like half an hour preparing it. I ate some but I do feel kinda bad as I am not a big fan of fish.</p>
<p>He eventually left in the early evening and by the time he got home I was already passed out. Completely exhausted from the weekend.</p>
<p>It was the most unusual first date ever. We broke all the rules. Still, I&#8217;m very glad I did it because it was a very fun weekend and we really enjoyed ourselves. Definitely worth repeating. Which we are. ;)</p>
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		<title>Vlog #5 &#8211; Gothic &amp; Fantasy Fair</title>
		<link>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2010/11/12/vlog-5-gothic-fantasy-fair/</link>
		<comments>http://www.amorouseyes.com/2010/11/12/vlog-5-gothic-fantasy-fair/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Nov 2010 17:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Julie Ann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clothing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[corsets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cyber]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cybergoth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fetish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[folk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gothic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OMNIA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pagan]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.amorouseyes.com/?p=1130</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We don&#8217;t celebrate Halloween in this country. Which makes me very sad :( Apart from a few clubs doing supposed Halloween-themed parties (which tend to suck) nothing is done here. No trick-or-treating, no decorated houses with gravestones and grim reapers, nothing. It sucks. Luckily I did have something to do that day as it also [...]]]></description>
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<p>We don&#8217;t celebrate Halloween in this country. Which makes me very sad :( Apart from a few clubs doing supposed Halloween-themed parties (which tend to suck) nothing is done here. No trick-or-treating, no decorated houses with gravestones and grim reapers, nothing. It sucks.</p>
<p>Luckily I did have something to do that day as it also happened to be the day of the Gothic and Fantasy Fair this year. It was two days actually, Saturday and Sunday, but I only went the Sunday as it isn&#8217;t very close and OMNIA would be performing on Sunday only so the choice was easy.</p>
<p>It was all indoors so I didn&#8217;t have to worry about bad weather or anything so I worse my cybergoth outfit. Which, I have to say, I look so much better in now than I did a few months ago. I was too damn skinny back then. Sadly, I have no pictures at all from me at the fair as it was pointless to try. It was really crowded, there were shittons of people there. Though some guy did walk up to me and wanted his picture taken with me. He put his arm around me and had (I think) his daughter take the picture. Who knows, it might wind up on the internet somewhere.</p>
<p>I had a lot of fun there, there were a ton of kewl stands, nice people, and of course, good music! :) I love OMNIA so I made sure to get there early. As soon as I heard them do their sound check I went out there. Still had like an hour to go but with OMNIA you have to be there early or you&#8217;re gonna be standing at the back.</p>
<p>Their concert was awesome but I expected no less. The instruments did suffer a bit from the heat indoors so some retuning had to be done in-between songs. At one point it was so bad that Jenny had to go backstage to tune her hurdy-gurdy cuz she couldn&#8217;t hear and told the rest of the band to just play something else until she was done. They actually started to play Tenacious D&#8217;s &#8220;Fuck Her Gently&#8221; for a bit until she got back.</p>
<p>The concert was long and they played a ton of my favorite songs. Old ones like &#8220;Etrezomp Ni Kelted&#8221; and new ones like &#8220;Toys in the Attic&#8221; and my current favorite song, &#8220;Wolf Song&#8221;. So pretty. &lt;3</p>
<p>Of course there was a lot more to do there than just watch OMNIA play. There were a lot of kewl stands with awesome stuff. I was mainly looking at clothes and hoping to find something nice. I tried on corsets at two different stands. As I wear the smallest non-custom made size it can be quite hard to find a good one. at one stand I found one that was just looked awesome! The model and size were perfect, but&#8230; it was blue. I&#8217;m looking for pink, black, or a black/pink combo. I do have her email address so she can look if it happens to be available in either of those colors.</p>
<p>I was also looking a lot at boots as there were a few stands that sold Demonia boots. I currently own two pairs of boots by Demonia but I want more cuz they&#8217;re so awesome. &lt;3</p>
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