Okay, that sounds more exciting than it probably is to most of you but I‘m excited! I tried on several pairs of pants today desperately trying to find one that I liked and fit me which is rarely an easy task. Finally I tried on these and they are awesome!
They’re just how I like ‘m. Tight and low. ^.~
After yesterday’s party my mom called saying she and my aunt were gonna go to the beach and asked if I wanted to tag along. I said sure, just have to get ready. Wasn’t expecting to go anywhere.
There were still a few sand sculptures there, Disney themed, but I think they had been there for a while. They didn’t look so pretty in some places.
An aunt and uncle of mine were having their 40th wedding anniversary and threw a big party for the entire family and entourage. They rented a big hall nearby and sent out noticed to everyone invited a few months in advance telling them to keep that date clear.
So it was gonna be this huge social event with tons of people and I admit I was quite nervous about that. There’d be a whole lot of people who had never seen me after I started my transition so I had no idea what to expect.
Well, when the day came near I of course had to figure out what I was gonna wear. Luckily a few days earlier when I was out with my mom and my aunt, who just flew in from Ireland to attend this family event, I found and bought some neat clothes. One piece I was pretty sure I was gonna wear. I bought two hooded long sleeve sweaters. They’re short and cute. I got one in pink and another one in black.
At home I still had a cute tight pink top that I thought would look great with it and together with my black pants and bright pink studded belt I thought it would make an awesome look, which it did. My mom had some nice jewelry to go with it so I was wearing none in the pictures I took.
The party itself was great fun. Though a bit awkward too. One of the things I found out the past few months is that it is far easier to be myself among people who don’t know me from before my transition. I guess with people who do, namely family, I’m a bit too aware of the “but wait… he… I mean she.. was never like that!” thoughts they will have. I know I shouldn’t care about that but it’s still tough. It is easier with certain people than with others because I know they won’t judge me as quickly.
The place was decorated in a French bistro type setting and there was even an accordionist playing in the first hour while most guests were still arriving. Nice, and he was good, but we were glad he wasn’t gonna play for the entire night! There were spots to get food, even hot food, but I didn’t eat much really.
Later on the DJ started to do his thing and played lots of music to cater the crowd. Most of that wasn’t really my thing though. While not necessarily bad music it wasn’t the type I generally listen to. No Britney, no Gaga, no Avril, so not really my thing, lol. I did attempt to dance somewhat later in the evening but truthfully, I sucked at it. Feeling socially awkward didn’t help matters of course.
I made one big mistake near the end of the evening. While I had been drinking whine throughout the evening later on I was offered a drink by one of my cousins and dumb me asked for a cola-vieux. This wouldn’t be so bad if it was earlier but it was near the end, and when everyone was getting ready to leave I slammed the remaining part of my drink. It didn’t ‘hit’ until after we all left but long story short: I fell asleep on my mom’s couch and woke up a few hours later and walked home.
Posted in: Clothing, Make Up, & Jewelry, Miscellaneous, My Transition 
Tags: anniversary, clothing, family, photos, socializingThe day has finally come. I have been living full time as a girl for well over a year at this point and God was I ever ready to finally start some damn hormone treatment!
Of course I am not there yet. First step is the diagnostic stage which normally takes about 6 sessions, all about a month apart. So yeah, add another half year of waiting before I will even be considered for hormone replacement therapy. So we’re looking at February at the earliest here for them to tell me what I have already known for all this time and label me with gender dysphoria. Bummer.
While I really do understand the need for the entire lengthy process as this is not something someone should go into lightly and it most certainly has a major impact on every aspect of your life and the people around you, I already made my choice last year. I am Julie. Period. There is no confusion, no wishing to ‘go back’ or thinking that I made a mistake. There is no doubt. None.
So to me, the waiting is sometimes grueling. I know I’ll get there, I know I should not even worry about that fact. Even my therapist reminds of that. I already transitioned. Most people who apply and get to this stage have never been out in public or even told anyone outside their immediate circle yet. Those are the things that they will work on with the people that reach this stage. The coming out part to family and work and such.
I did all that already. Everybody knows. I am living full time as me, Julie, and I even got rid of my ‘just in case’ bag of guy clothes months ago. Hell, its even hard to think of a time before my transition. It’s not just like that was a different person, it really was a different person; and I’m still changing more and more. When I first announced I was going to transition I said I would still be the same person. Oh how wrong I was. They say I can expect more changes once hormones start kicking into a full gear.
Anyway… To get back on track here. I met my assigned psychologist. She explained the procedure which I of course already knew so nothing new there. Other than that we just covered some basic stuff, did a quick rundown of my life and some of the things that were written down from my earlier visit way back in March. She’s really nice and easy to talk to.
You have probably noticed by now that each time I write about my visits to my therapist and such I don’t go very in depth about what was talked about. This is not because I don’t want to, it is because I was advised not to. Sadly, that is all I can say about it at this point in time. I will of course always speak my mind about the things that I can talk about.
After the talk was over I made three new follow up appointments, for October, November, and December, and also another one in November for a psychological test type thing. Having been nervous as all flipping hell over this thing I was glad it was over and also relieved that it went well.
While clearly a staged shot, I do play. Just not as often as I used to.
Years ago I actually had private lessons and was actively playing classical guitar with the plan to try and go to the conservatory and keep doing classical studies. I had the talent but sadly I never followed through on that because of many stupid reasons and practically quit playing for a very long time.
Nowadays I pick it up every now and then and just shred out some metal riffs. It is good for anger management sometimes too.
It is a Samick 24 fret featuring a genuine Floyd Rose tremolo bar with double locking system and gold plated parts. It is many, many years old and damn near destroyed the thing by messing with it so much. Later on I even lowered the attack to practice double tapping techniques which I was heavily into for a while. If I were to truly play it again on a regular basis it would need a complete rewiring though, not sure it is worth the trouble.