Recently I put myself on a dating site. Not a transsexual dating place, but a real ‘regular’ dating site, if there is such a thing. It is a scary thing to do as a transsexual and I can imagine there are others that did it or have thought about it and asked themselves: “Do I tell them? Or do I hide it?”. Reason being mostly that you want to make sure your dates contact you because they have an interest in who you are.. not what you are.
Now, I’m not a big fan of keeping things a secret, for one I suck at it, always having to remember what I can and cannot say just stressed me out, and for two I just plain believe in openness. I know I’m in the minority here but if I wanted my life to be a secret I would’ve moved before going through transition and possibly in hiding until I was done, or move again.
So I decided to put it in my profile. In the very first line I explain I am a pre op transsexual and that I’m still very much in the transition phase. This is also the only time I talk about it. I call it filter number one. Anyone who stops reading right there I had no interest in getting to know anyway. The rest of my quite extensive profile just deals what I’m looking for and what I’m not looking for.
After receiving interest from a bunch of people I have exchanged MSN addresses with several of them so I could talk with them and get a better impression. Which I’ll talk more about on a later date. Quick flash forward to yesterday: It was supposed to be my very first date. “Supposed to be” because the guy never showed up, then finally canceled about half an hour later than he was supposed to be there. Utterly lame but I guess I’m better off, huh?
So instead I stayed home, ordered pizza, and watched “He’s just not that into you” last night. Good movie, especially if you’re dating, it has some nice tips on how to read the ‘signs’ guys give out during dates. Or more importantly, how not to misread them. Mainly, it’s about one particular woman who thinks that every guy she dates is Mr. Right, then wonders why they never call her again. It’s a good and fun movie that has its share of comedic elements but is certainly not a comedy. I recommend it!